Recognizing Your Emotional Mask + Embracing Your True Identity

As we are within our Halloween Blog week, there has never been a better time to look over the concept of emotional masks. Additionally how to unmask yourself and embrace your true identity. To begin lets look at emotional masks in general.

What is an Emotional Mask?

This metaphorical mask is the emotions and reactions that we put on in various situations. A very applicable situation pertaining to pediatric cancer could be that you mask your fears or concerns with simple avoidance.

Are there different types of Emotional Masks?

Almost any behavior or emotion that we exert could be a "mask" to what we are truly feeling. The more common and easily recognized masks may be:

• Avoidance Mask- All together avoiding all components of the situation. We ultimately think by avoiding issues and emotions protects us from all.
• People Pleaser Mask- This mask motivates our action to please others in any way possible
• Anger Mask- Anger is an extremely powerful emotion that can be arguably felt more than any other emotion
• Happy Mask- The "everything is fine" mask, tends to coincide with avoidance. This mask alludes to us that if we are forcing happy emotions all of the time we are then actually happy. 

According to Psych Central the following are ways that you are able to unmask yourself:

1. Make the Decision:  The first step is to decide you want to drop the Avoidance Mask. This means you are committed to taking action even though it may be painful in the beginning. If you aren’t sure, make a list of pros and cons–pros and cons of dropping the mask and pros and cons of keeping the mask.

Dropping the mask will not be easy and recognizing the difficulty of this task will help you succeed. Remember taking one step at a time may work best. For example, speaking up about which restaurant you’d prefer for dinner might be one initial step.

2. Focus on Awareness:  If you’ve lost touch with your own preferences and feelings, spend some time asking yourself what you really think and feel.  Keep asking and keep experimenting–it will come back to you. Consider keeping a journal, writing down what you liked and didn’t like each day. Accept your feelings and trust that they will pass.

3.  Be Visible:  Notice if you have the posture of someone who is trying to hide. If you do, stand up straight and let yourself be visible. Begin to express your opinion and thoughts gently, with kindness.

4. Develop New Coping Skills:  Before you drop the mask, it’s important to have alternative, more effective  ways to cope with emotional pain.  More about that in future posts.

5.  Face Whatever You’ve Been Avoiding:  Whatever your thoughts and feelings, they are your thoughts and feelings. Everyone has their own internal experience and yours is likely different from that of your friends’.

Accepting your internal experience instead of avoiding it will allow you to check to see if your feelings have any base in external reality and to choose healthier, more effective ways of coping. Facing the external fears will help you overcome those as well. Being rejected or criticized by others is not pleasant, but you will find out you can survive it. Take small steps, have support, and use alternative coping skills.

Improving Your Emotional Well Being

There are a multitude of steps one can take in order to ensure high levels of emotional well being but it is also important to recognize how easily we can let it go as well. That is why today, lets focus on a few simple steps we can take in order to improve our emotional well being...

1. Engage in things that positively impact others. Sometimes the most gratifying experiences do not necessarily have a direct impact on ourselves. By doing good for others, we are able to find a sense of purpose and happiness that one cannot find anywhere else
2. Educate yourself on a new topic or activity. By learning new things provides our mind with stimulation and our emotional well being with a sense of accomplishment.
3. Managing Stress through limiting unhealthy mental behavior. Stress is a very consuming emotion that can weigh heavily on the mind and body. By seeking out alternative coping methods you may not have tried before will help you adapt to healthier coping processes. Avoid unhealthy habits such as self criticism, repetitive worry and nervous ticks [maybe biting your nails].
4. The practice of self-descipline. Self control in turn leads to a sense of accomplishment and can overcome anxiety.

6 Steps to Take for an Emotional Health Makeover

We were so excited to share yesterday's quote with you that we mixed up our post theme days-oops! Today we will focus on emotional support during the process of change and embracing this change. Below you will find a few ways to give yourself an emotional health makeover. 

Emotions will clearly run high when dealing with pediatric cancer, whether you are the parent, sibling or even the patient themselves- it is important to take time to focus on keeping a healthy state of mind  as much as possible. 

Emotional Support: A Healthy State of Mind

1. Look at situations from multiple perspectives--seek out perspectives you may not typically consider.
2. Believe in yourself. Sometimes we are our worst critics. Make sure to recognize your abilities, talents and strengths and embrace these
3. Utilize Affirmations. These are positive statements that encourage your ability to make changes, or cope with changes that are happening around you. Example: "Everyday is a new one and I will take each day on--using my strengths to make it a good day"
4. Embrace "Personal Power". Read further on the concept of personal power here and check out their exercises to accomplish it.
5. Begin to make choices that will ultimately generate happiness and consideration in some way-even the most little ways. 
6. Baby Steps. It is unrealistic to think you will be able to wake up tomorrow morning and have a fresh perspective and outlook when it comes to change. Make a goal to accomplish one thing a day that ultimately will help you embrace change.